alexmonalisa

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:38:22 GMT

Firstly what;s right with my life.

La Corda D'oro is awesome. Emma is the sweetest friend ever and I still feel guilty that I didn't have enough for lunch. (You're getting two christmas presents). I have awesome songs on my mp3 player thanks to Emma. Emma is always supportive. Emma, Emma, Emma.

People ask if I'm too obessed with Emma. I am, but I don't care. I need a constant in my life. Emma makes me forget the things I don't won't to remember. People never asked me why I always whined about being alone in the holidays. It's because when I'm alone the things I don't want to think about drive me insane. Sometimes when I remember them at night I scream into my pillow. But with Emma, I dream silly things and can laugh and smile. She's not like my other best friends who kept me for awhile and then dumped me for a better offer. "sorry simone, you're not my best friend." "you're too immature." "we've grown apart."- with Emma, I know even if we're on seperate planets we'll always have this connection.

I'm not saying we're perfect friends. We have differences. She can't stand true blood and the accents, and i watch it with glazed eyes because I love true blood and have Anna Paquin on a pedastal. I'm blind to her bad accent. And she loves........... not running and I love .... aw crap I love everything she loves. But that makes her perfect. But with her I don't have to hate everything she hates. With all my other friends I had to like what they liked and hate what they hate.

Which brings me back to my point. Right now I'm going insane again and thinking of Emma I forgot why. Which is cool. I'm not saying I don't have other good friends but Emma is the one I see almost every day and she's my best friend. Cool right?

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:03:43 GMT

Great weekend-ish. Saturday was good, Friday had it's moment but Sunday, well actually it got better. Friday was children in Need which was cancellled for awhile but then went along as planned. I felt bad because it was cancelled for the other site meaning Melissa didn't get her cake so the little tyrant was pissed at me. We fought alot on Friday which was actually fun until the alien spat on me. To be fair I scared the crap out of her by hiding on the stairs. It took her five seconds to react and scream. Most delayed reaction ever. ANyway, I went to sleep at ten, was awoken at eleven to do the dishes and then went back to sleep at one in the bloody morninig. My mother does not understand the concept of insomnia. Or sleep paralysis.

Saturday went great, The combination of New Moon and infinite chinese food really makes a good day. Even the rain couldn't upset me. And believe me the rain did try. The dinner was weird, good weird, because of the multiple partner exchange. One moment is was a lesbain couple and a straight couple, then a threesome and a guy, then a guy and his girlfriend with her girlfriend and her bitch. Total foursome moment. Awesome!

Sunday sucked and it wasn't the church part that sucked, that was okay. It was the dragon lady, or mommy as we so fondly call her, who was in a bad mood and had a menacing throbbing vein that looked like it wanted to kill me. I was frightened and spent the day doing film coursework. 2,500 words- a little too long. Anyway that's it.

Note to Emma: Wuv you dude. But school isn't that bad. Still come back!

I need a hobby...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 09:59:06 GMT

...or more friends. Either way I think it's kinda pathetic that when Emma isn't here time stands still and the school day drags on like there is no tommorow. (Btw if you're reading this Emma, shame on you.) I'm seriously bored and the anti-social thing has been raised to 'come near me and you die'. I don't know, evrything about everyone is really annoying me. And I'm really sleepy. Ok just two lessons which is easy enough to get through and then to drag myself through to private studies. No problem, right? Wrong. There's still all the breaks in between. And my mp3 player isn't fully charged so I don't or can't use that. Yeah, there are worse problems in life but you must understand that the longer Emma and I are apart, the sooner the world implodes. And now even writing seems boring...well typing but whatever.

I have discovered something...

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:05:53 GMT

GYM = Pain! Immense agonising pain!

My joints are stiff and apparently I've learnt that I'm fit but weak. Oh and my mother has said I have the arms of an anorexic. Nice. Let's get rid of gyms and make more ice-cream parlours.

TeeHEE

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 20:03:03 GMT

Gwesh whos drunk again! Me! Ha. Nah but I am tipsy! Weally, weally on the edge. I went into the Sangria, party party! I weally hope Emma-chan can come on Saturday but don't worry if you can't. Then I'll go see Dee-DEE. YAy! I'm still waiting for my blood test results. Let it be clinically proven I'm insane. My sister and I deribleity-(purposely) went to buy a twinkie and were going to film it but ended up laughing and getting twinkie juice all over the camera. BAsically a twinke is like a PEN-IS. And sucking it is like a blow job. HAHAHAHA I have now corrupted your mind forever.

PS You're shexy!

PPS- I now throw up. Yesh?

Blood Test

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 10:02:28 GMT

Urgh! I feel like crap. Had my blood test today and now I'm drained. I swear they pumped to much. My arm has gone limp. Anyway I get there early but then when they call my number the girl tells me that I haven't fastered long enough. So I wait for like another half an hour

( see Emma, ice-cream was a bad idea, you should have never let me eat).

then they call me back and the girl tries to find my veins. But apparently mine are too thin so she goes to get someone else to do it and after another five minutes they discover one they can use that is called a butterfly vein. Nothing pretty about it. I had to look away because I was shaking and starting to feel sick. I hate blood and almsot threw up when she left with two viles of my blood. So, that's most of my blood expierance. I'm gonna sleep now because I'm too drained to care.

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:27:46 GMT

H A P P Y

B I R T H D A Y

E M M A !

Oh the shame!

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 18:54:12 GMT

So we're driving back from school after fetching the munchkin. And I scream 'Emma' cause I see her right? And then we're near home when the car is stopped and my stepfather tells me to get and go see Emma. I was like no, but then they locked the car doors. Then I stalked off to find Emma and saw her with Luke on the other side of the road but I felt really embarrassed so i turn to walk home. Then I kick myself mentally and go back but saw no sign of Emma. It was like she dissapeared. So I felt embarrased as people were staring so I run to Kaiping and pretned I was looking for her. And it was fun because we caught up and spoke and all that. Then it was awkard once we were done talking so I run home and threaten my stepfather and the munchkin with disembowelment.

The curse is back!

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 09:44:26 GMT

NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO! This is so not happening! I can't go through this again! It started yesterday morning and now I'm afraid to go to sleep again. FUck! My sleep paralysis is back! And it lasted for what felt like half an hour! It's scary and weird and feels like being locked in a coffin with your eyes glued shut! DOn't know what it is? Google it for the fulls effects but basically I wake up but can't move. And I'm scared shitless because usually my eyes are at least open but yesterday they didn't open. I didn't what was happening and couldn't even move my mouth. It's been like three years since it happenned then yesterday it suddenly happened. I don't know what to do, I'm not meant to take sleeping pills because they knock me out like a horse. Shit Shit shit!!

PS Emma: Cake? Where!

There comes a time in life...

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 23:13:34 GMT

Oh yea it's time for a rant! I don't even know why i'm angry, ok i know why i just don't know why... whatever point is some bloody sod sends me a flame on fanfiction, and usuallly i accept flames but this perticular idiot sends it to me in a message and lists things that is wrong with my story. But like things that don't give critsim. Wait, thats not how you spell... nevermind. Point being firstly in fanfics you review and when flaming you critise about grammer, plot and charecter deleopmeant, but sending me crap in a personal message about how the pairing in the story and the two main charaters don't conencide...don't go together (better?). Just because i chose a certain two people for my main characters doens't mean they will be together. It just means they're the charaters. I can't even spell now i'm so pissed. Then the person says they didn't like a line in they story. Why the fuck would i care? Tell me that in a review don't personal message me. Does this person like the plot, i don't know, the stroyline and structure, i don't know all i know is they want the main cahracters to hook up immediately, screw the plot, and me to remove a certain line. Ok, deep breath. See? Stupid. I'm getting worked up for nothing but i just usually prefer personal messeages to contain practical stuff.

God I'm bored and need to go out more. I also need a boyfriend but one problem at a time! So Emma if you're reading this and haven't run away from me in fear, are you and kita still going somewhere tommorow? Plans for the rest of the week?

My rant energy is gone so I'll wrap this up in saying Vote for me and my evil gerbils opposed to my sister and her evil hamsters. Yep, we're your only options. We're both bent on world domination and when we succeed one shall be master and the other second in command. Personally I would make every friday ice-cream day.

Fill it out

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 22:40:50 GMT

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
14. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
15. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
16. Can we get together and make a cake?
17. Which country is your spiritual home?
18. What is your big weakness?
19. Do you think I'm a good person?
20. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
21. Describe your accent:
22. If you could change anything about me, would you?
23. What do you wear to sleep?
24. Trousers or skirts?
25. Cigarettes or alcohol?
26. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
27. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

Ack!

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:38:28 GMT

I've reached my peek or climax or.... blech! I'm bored and it's been like what? Four days since I offically finsihed school. What! I don't feel like spelling. I bored and my brain has gone very fuzzy. I crave company! Only company I have is my stepfather who is sleeping most of the day and at night i have my mother. Or the dragon as I so fondly call her. Then theres Chav-e-lina. My dear sister. WHo annoys me to a point of insanity. I walk around the house dragging my teddy shamelessly around like a five year old. Sapphire keeps me company. Yes dammit! My teddy has a name. I had a teddy named Charles Reginald the 3rd once. And then there was Simba. Oooh and then there was Miffy! Miffy was a black bunny I found on the street when I was nine and after I took a bath with her (yes i'm that crazy) i found out she was white. I passed her on to my cousin when i turned thirteen. That's when charles came into my life. My dear Charlie. Crap guess what! I'm actually watching the news. Shoot me now! Somedays I don't even change out of my pj's. Huh? Yes I wash! But I just change back into my frilly blue pj's. Their so cute. i'm even tempted to go with emma to school. HELP!

Darkness arrives

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:37:57 GMT

I don't know if it's to do with my time of the month or if my cynical personality is back but I'm a wreck. I'm tired, emotional and sevrely depressed. And the worst thing is that even I'm surrounded by people I feel so alone all the time. I feel drained and like I just can't do anything anymore. I can't focus and i have to focus because of exams. Part of me wants to cut myself off from the world and just hovel in my room. I even cut myself away from MSN and Facebook to avoid people there. My phone is on silent but not off and I'm still on livejournal but that's because I can never cut myself away from Emma and Tara. They're so important to me.

So i had a party sometime ago. It was great and the people who were there made me so happy. But the monday after I wake up and it hits me. People don't actually like me as much as I thought. I invite eleven people and four show up. Okay so I've had worse I mean once I invited 20 and one person came then once I invited nine and no-one came. But that makes you think 'hello it's you not them'. SO what's wrong with me? How do people see me? Fuck! I hate being so damn insecure. I mean I walk around thinking i'm ugly and haven't had a boyfriend because I disgust boys but now I have this image in my mind that people tolerate because they have to. God i'm so weak. ANd pathetic.

Ha but don't worry. I'm always this fucked up. It's hard for me to be around others when I'm like this. I hate bringing people down. Maybe that's why people don't like me. Ha. Just thought about the jealously factors. People are inviting each other places and i'm kinda like sitting there going "body please teleport somewhere now". I think the only people who ever inivted somewhere was Emma, Maria and Denise. Although Denise did once invite to go to london with her and never got back to me. And there I was dressed up on a friday only later as I wandered around with my mother find a group of them walking somewhere laughing having fun.

I have a crush on this guy but I suddenly think he doesn't like me and obviously from this ramble I'm too fucked up to be rejected. I remember the first time i asked a boy out all i got was a 'not a chance in hell'. What to do, what to do. It's okay whenever I'm with Emma or Tara, just emma or tara--just got a call from Mr Cheese, reminding me to come to revision tommorow, yeah like I forgot---anyway whenever I'm with them I don't feel so alone. Here let me sing how i feel:

"There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface, consuming, confusing

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I�m convinced that there�s just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Psycho

Thu, 28 May 2009 22:13:34 GMT

I don't know what's wrong with me? I'm seriously freaking people out. Firstly my accents tends to change to a spanish or french one and at some moments i'm actually writng in french. Also i answer the phone in a mexican accent. (I'm south african- making those accents weird).

My sister worries me. She asked me how to spell 'a'. Then how to spell 'one'. Then asked why we need to spell. I kinda walked away.

My brother has confirmed my insanity. See he's getting a cat, right. And we were talking names. Here's how that conversation went:

Me: Call your cat Brocolli.

Dare: No! That's stupid.

Me: Then what will you call your cat?

Dare: Blue.

Me: Just call it Ice.

Dare: Then I might as well call it water or vapour.

Me: Oh! Call it condensation!

Dare: Put mum on the phone.

Me: Why?

Dare: I need to tell her your insane.

Me: Call your cat Twilight and i'll convince mum to buy you the cat.

Dare: No.

Me: Watch Twilight?

Dare: *pause* Okay but watch it with me.

End.

Ps my brother won't watch twilight alone because he has a vendetta against the whole twilight thing. Anyway I still think condensation is a good name for a cat!

pps Can't wait to see you on saturday Emma!

Writer's Block: Wild Life

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:35:23 GMT

How long could you survive on your own in the wild?

View 500 Answers

Two days. Maybe. Depends how long it takes me to starve. I'm paranoid and deathly afraid of most animals. I hate water so no chance of fishing. And I'm lazy. So no chance of me actually moving. SO I'd just run around like a crazy.

For Emma

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:34:15 GMT

This world is nothing but shadow. Once you slip through the darkness, there is no returning to the light. The thirst will consume you. It will become your entire existance. Things are different now. Those who were once your enemies are now the only family you have. Turn to them, do not betray them. We created you and therefore we can take you apart just as easily.

We take what we want...do not see us as monsters, we ask for one thing. That we which we give you in return is a gift. Although there are those who would tell you it is a curse. Remember, you are alive, you are immortal. To an extent. It'll be hard at first, the thirst will be intense and you'll have no control. But as you satisfy yourself you'll become stronger. And then you'll learn control.

It's the darkness, it's stopping your heart. Do't worry young one, the pain will be quick. Embrace it, allow it to fill you. Close your eyes. When you awake we'll speak more. But remember, you are one of us. A blood faerie. There is no going back...

Word Vomit, you know... I was trying to write about George Orwell and this came to mind. Tsk, tsk. You and your magnificent idea's.

Writer's Block: Musical Affliction

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 13:01:41 GMT

Have you had an earworm lately? Exorcise it by inflicting it on your friendslist. Post the lyrics or - even better - a video.

View 500 Answers

Starngely I've had two songs in my head and they seem to be conflicting each other, one moment one will be running through my head and the next the other one and sometimes simultanuously which made me spaz out in biology. People keep asking me if I'm listening, which I'm not I'm severely stuck in my own head.

Don't trust me- !3OH! vs Think twice- Eve 6

Black dress with the tights underneath,
I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth,
And shes an actress (actress),
But she ain't got no need.
Shes got money from her parents in a trust fund back east.
T-t-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks,
While my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth,
T-tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef,
That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him.

She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a ho,
Never trust a ho,
Won't trust a ho,
Won't trust me.

X's on the back of your hands,
Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands.
And your setlist (setlist),
You stole off the stage,
Had red and purple lipstick all over the page.
B-b-b-bruises cover your arms,
Shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm.
And the best is (best is),
No one knows who you are,
Just another girl alone at the bar.

She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a ho,
Never trust a ho,
Won't trust a ho,
Won't trust me.

Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.

Woah, woah, woah...

She wants to touch me (Woah),
She wants to love me (Woah),
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),
Don't trust a ho,
Never trust a ho,
Won't trust a ho,
Won't trust me

When all is said and done and dead
does he love you the way that I do
Breathing in lightning tonight's for fighting
I feel the hurt so physical

Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around and you'll feel the burn
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around, come around no more
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around, I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around no more
She spreads her love, she burns me up
I can't let go I can't get out
I said enough, enough right now
I can't let go, I can't get out.

Wait till the day you finally see I've been here waiting patiently
Crossing my fingers and my t's. You cried on my shoulder begging please
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around, I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around, come around no more
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around, I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around no more
She spreads her love, she burns me up
I can't let go I can't get out
I said enough, enough right now
I can't let go, I can't get out.

What is it you really want? I'm tired of asking!

When I showed up and he was there I tried my best to grin and bear
And took the stairs but didn't stop at the street and as we speak I'm going down
Cause she spread her love, she burned up
I can't let go I can't get out
I said enough, enough right now
I can't let go, I can't get out.
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around, I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around, come around no more
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around, I'll let you feel the burn
Think twice 'fore you touch my girl. Come around no more

Ps, I blame my icon.

Writer's Block: Philanthropy

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 20:48:36 GMT

Do you volunteer your time or donate money to any charitable organizations? Which ones, and why?

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Last year I gave up my summer holidays and worked mon-fri, at a charity shop. From 8:30-17:00. I felt that I needed to do something for others out there. It was for a childrens charity. I also donate money to the salvation army.

Writer's Block: LiveJournal Book Club

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 18:19:21 GMT

Out of all of your favorite books, pick just one you'd recommend everyone read. As a bonus: why did you pick that one?

View 505 Answers

There's quite a few but there's a book called Loving April although right now I can't remember the author but the book has always stuck with me. It's captivating and mesmorizing. I was even crying for some parts. It makes you release how hurtful the world can be and how important love is.

Writer's Block: Celebrating Friendships

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 10:44:31 GMT

Over the past ten years, many friendships have started and/or been renewed on LiveJournal. Of your current LJ friends, who have you known the longest?

View 500 Answers

daydreams19- Truly great friend who actually got me on livejournal. Without her I'd be a lost soul without anything to do.

Weird things I say

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 22:03:14 GMT

Conversation between me and my sister at three in the morning. We were trying to sleep and started babbling this morning.

Me: Mel, I killed your puppy.

Meli: I don't have a puppy.

Me: That's because I killed it.

----------

Later, in the afternoon, I took out a box of milk and suspected it was sour. But I knew my sister wouldn't willing taste it.

Me: Taste this.

Meli: What's that?

Me: Milk with sugar and marshmallows.

Meli: I don't see marshmallows.

Me: The milk melted it.

Meli: *pauses* cool.

She drank it, spat it out and ran to throw up. I went to tell my mother we needed milk. MUHAHA

Writer's Block: GIP (Gratuitous Icon Post)

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 12:10:13 GMT

You finally have an excuse to use it—what userpic do you not get to use very often but can't delete because it's just that awesome?

View 500 Answers

This one. It's a cover from my favourite manga, Immortal Rain but I've never used it.

Dark personality

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:51:32 GMT

hehe I tried to make myself a userpic but you can't really see the writing. So I'm just posting it here... opinions are welcome but no critiques! Tell me which one you like best.

Writer's Block: More Island Time

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 14:31:21 GMT

You're packing your bag for that other desert island—the one with no electricity—what 5 books do you take with you?

Submitted By mika_uriah

View 501 Answers

Twilight and Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer
Ella Enchanted- Gail Carlson Levine
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling
Collection of Children's Fairytales

Those books I could read over and over and over again.

Wolvie on the brain

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 17:49:30 GMT

I'm hyper! Just saw the trailer for Wolverine:Origin and wowowowowowowowowo! My family thinks I've lost it but I'm just overloaded from the sheer yumminess of Hugh jackman, exicted from seeing how good Gambit looks and really just loving the trailer. Dumdumdumdum.... BTW Hugh Jackman makes me go ROAR! like a lion.

PS don't mind me I'm crazy. If you think the movie will be good, leave a comment... and does anyone know if X4 if being planned, made, thought about...